Strength and Self-sufficiency. These are the two words that resonate with me since I became a mother. In a Doctor’s Wives group I am in, a woman reached out to me about the uncertainty of her future with having kids so far from family. I shared with her my story about raising a child and being a first-time parent living far from family. I briefly shared with her that within just 3 years of moving into a new state and city, far from familiar faces and places, my husband and I got married and had a baby. (As I am writing this, I am in tears – so many emotions this triggered). I told her I surprised myself by how strong I am and how self-sufficient I became. I raised my son by myself, physically and emotionally. As soon as Zayne became 3 weeks old and my husband went back to work, 13 hour shifts 7-10 days in a row. She was worried about the help she will need and the convenience of family coming to help anytime and visit. I told her, “you can do this. You can raise this family with your own two hands, as have I. Remember that we doctor wives, can do hard things.” There are pros and cons about family living near and far. The need to become your own self, with your own thoughts, and following your own instincts as a mother, was such an important aspect of being alone. Loneliness is something that comes with raising your family by yourself. You will be lonely, but for such a short while, because you have the company of your children. The benefits of becoming a strong, self-sufficient, and resilient mother, totally outweighs the cons. The most important message she told me that I said that helped her in her decisions to continue with making a family is, “It takes a village to raise a child. But there’s nothing wrong when your village is only you and your husband.”
Around other people, those who raised their children with millions in their village, I feel like as though I have an upper hand on things, I feel smarter, more confident, and increased my self-awareness. I surprise myself everyday in what I achieved as a mother and person. I found myself, even though I wasn’t looking.
I concluded stating the obvious; don’t be afraid of yourself and your capabilities.