Mama Life, Motherhood

Hello Coffee.

I now understand the phrase, “…but first, coffee.”

I was never a coffee drinker, nor a caffeine drinker in any case. My husband thinks that is really weird, given the nature of my profession, working nights, and have given birth to a baby. I run on no hours of sleep since and on no caffeine all my life.

I have never needed to drink coffee because my mind has always thought exhaustion is part of life and that coffee is just another bad habit. This was until today when I felt what real exhaustion feels like.

Real exhaustion isn’t cramming for your final the night before. It isn’t trying to stay up during a nightshift from 7pm to 7am because you had from 8am to 5pm during the day to sleep and no interruptions whatsoever. It isn’t a night of partying and waking up to a hangover. It isn’t waking up to go to work at 8am from a nice quiet 5-8 hour sleep.

REAL exhaustion is countless nights of interrupted sleep. Now, I don’t mean an alarm clock waking you up in the morning or the sound of your significant other snoring. It’s waking up every 2 hours to the sound a baby fussing or crying and physically getting up, carrying baby to a chair, positioning your baby to a comfortable and safe way, popping out a boob, and actively being awake, breastfeeding your baby from 10 minutes to 50 minutes, then rocking your baby back to sleep, laying him down into his crib, waiting another 10 minutes until he can comfortably doze off, then slowly walking back to your room and then…finally digging your face into your pillow. But, only to repeat this process about every 1-2 hours throughout the night from 7pm until he decides to fully wake up at 6-7am the next morning. Mind you, there’s an iPad on your bedside table, blasting white noise from your baby’s room, and the sound of him moving around and snoring, as well.

Now, there’s been many many occasions in which baby Zayne slept through the night. And, what people mean by that is that the baby falls asleep continuously for 4-6 hours before waking up to eat or have his diaper changed. Then, its unpredictable from there. Zayne has done wonderful from 10 weeks old, sleeping a good 4-6 hours straight, waking up once or twice to eat, then falling back asleep for another 3-4 hours before wanting to wake up fully and be ready for the day. It’s during those “growth spurts” or “sleep regression” times when he wakes up every 2 hours and this could last from a day to a whole month.

And the past week, it’s been e v e r y d a y. 

He just turned 5 months old. This must be a growth spurt?

And back to the topic of Coffee. Today, I woke up and tried drinking coffee to offset exhaustion and sleep deprivation. My goal was to be functional and energetic for my son. And, yes. Coffee works. One cup and I’m immediately woken up, no time to feel lazy to play with Zayne for 3 hours straight.

Now, I’m afraid its true that this may become an addiction, but I think I have an exception to the rule. One thing I worry the most is staining my teeth. If anyone has suggestions, please share.

Hello. Good morning. Where’s my coffee?



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